Showing posts with label Thoughtful thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thoughtful thoughts. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Embrace the Imperfect

Embrace the imperfect might just become my mantra for 2010 for who among us is perfect?

I have often thought of calling it quits, this world we call blogging. I've not blogged anything of substance in too long to remember. But still, I keep it open and post an occasional photo remembering that I originally started this venture as a photo blog. My photos often speak for me but just as the spoken/written word can carry different meanings, my photos do the same. For me, photography has often been my way of coping with the turmoil in my life. The images I share tend to hold a moment of my life within their pixels. You just have to look with your heart to see what I'm seeing. Don't worry if you don't, though. But I do encourage you to view my photos with your heart and not your brain.


Thursday, February 04, 2010

Bread

The aroma of fresh baked bread has been filling my house this week as I experiment with a master recipe from the book Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day by Jeff Hertzerg, MD and Zoe Francois. The recipe can be found at the NY Times.

I have long wanted to bake my own bread but as I'm a bit lazy, never really embarked on the process. I know, a bread machine could have helped but with a bread machine, would I have the fabulous, crusty baguette that I so adore? I really have trouble with buying bread in the store. It doesn't taste like bread. Its consistency is just, for lack of a better word, weird. It never really turns moldy, just gooey making me wonder what I'm putting into my body.

This year, I'm trying to eat more natural foods and good fats. I think all these fake low-fat foods and substitutes have not helped us at all. They often leave us unsatisfied and eating even more. I want food that tastes good and satisfies. I know, food is only supposed to sustain life. It isn't supposed to satisfy on an emotional level but for me, it does. That doesn't have to be a negative so long as we're eating properly and not to feed the emotion. But face it, food is emotion. The aromas elicit memories and the taste can bring such joy. Why should I punish myself by not eating food that brings such joy and satisfaction? The key is to make sure that I'm not over eating or feeding an emotion. That I'm eating when I'm hungry and stopping before I'm stuffed. Slowing down and thoroughly enjoying the food that I place into my mouth. The same could be said for all of living. Slowing down, taking the time to taste, feel and enjoy life.

Will I lose weight? I hope so but what I really want is good health and to enjoy life to its fullest. And for that baguette to cool so that I can break some bread with loved ones.


Friday, August 21, 2009

SIGG

Last year, after purging my house of many plastic bottles, I read about SIGG bottles and their claims of being BPA free. Now I find out that SIGG was misleading. Read the letter from the CEO of SIGG USA. Read more about it here at Z Recommends. I find a company that misleads through omission and claims of propriety to be distasteful as the water the liner was protecting. I don't have a problem with the liner, per se, but the deception.

I am unsure whether I will contact SIGG to inquire about replacement as do I really want another bottle from a company that was/is so willing to deceive the consumer to make a buck? Make no mistake, this admission and changing of the liner is a political move as moves are made to ban all use of BPA. An informed decision is all that I require and SIGG took that away from me through deceitful practices. For me, that's a deal closer. As I mainly purchased the bottle for environmental reasons, I will go back to recycling the disposable bottles.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Happiness

Happiness

Monday became better when taking the advice of a friend. Chocolate really does make things better along with a yummy, extra-foamy latte. Indulgence. Life is just too short to hang on to disappointments and anger. Moving on or at least attempting to do so. It ain’t always easy. If it were, the self-help section of bookstores wouldn’t be so huge.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Simple Things

The Guardian

Lately, I've been sharing images or snippets of things that bring me pleasure whether enjoying a glass of wine or the latest books I'm reading. Life is lived in those simple, every day moments. We may plan to do this or that but it's in those simple, daily rituals that we live our lives. Those moments may include a simple hello to a neighbor in the morning as we hurry out the door. That moment is life. Those we interact with as we go about the course of our normal life are enriched by a kind word or gesture. We may have grand plans but life has a way of interfering leaving only a lifetime of small moments.

Whether you know a person for a few days or a lifetime, it often comes down to the everyday moments that bring joy. I do hope, as you sit down to dinner tonight, you take a moment and really appreciate what you have, whether it be gourmet or fast food. By yourself or with family and friends, enjoy the moment. Once it's gone, you can't get it back. Live those moments.

Speaking of which, it's time for me to find something to eat. You can bet I'll be enjoying my after dinner coffee to the max-extreme. :)

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Get Out And Vote

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Vote for what you truly believe and remember, every election is history in the making as each day, history is made.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

though the shadows grow deep

though the shadows grow deep

a mother's reflections on grief by Shirley Jones.  Many of you may remember when I first wrote about Shirley's tremendous loss. As part of her healing process she has written and illustrated a beautiful book for sale through blurb. I have had the book for several weeks now, letting the message of hope and forgiveness settle over me. Shirley's journey has not always been easy but through her faith and forgiveness, she is able to share her story and the emotions that threatened to swamp her at times. This book touches the heart and teaches a lesson on life and living that will linger and stay with you.

*disclaimer. While Shirley is a dear friend, by no means is she expecting nor did she ask for any kind of review.

*Now playing: The Voice by Celtic Woman - The Greatest Journey: Essential Collection

Monday, October 20, 2008

Paths

Trails

Which path do you take? Do you take the safe path? Or do you venture onto the uncertain path? What decision do you make when you so obviously know a choice must be made but yet the point of decision is unclear?  If I had the answers to those questions, I would write a book, appear on Oprah and become the next best thing. Truth be told, sometimes it is far wiser to take the path more traveled and sure. I know that Frost might disagree but when the future is truly uncertain, the tried and true can often be the safe bet. Other times, when the tried and true has failed, that other path, the one full of uncertainty, could be the correct path. Sometimes, what you thought you would do, changes completely when you reach the point of decision that was once obscured.

In life, there are no simple answers to the difficult questions that pass our way. Who is to say which way is correct. It is only after the choice has been made that an answer forms and yet, even if you had taken the other path, you would always wonder if you should have taken the other. Perhaps it has become our nature to always doubt our decisions, to wander aimlessly in search of some unknowable answer.  Not finding that answer, we fill our lives with things we think are the answer. Still, something along our path is missing.

My theory lends itself toward a lack of spirituality and connection. We hurry through our day, impatient when the person in front of us at the grocery store questions a price, impatient when the traffic light turns red, impatient to be somewhere else. Funny, when we get to that somewhere else, how often we immediately start planning the next somewhere else? We rarely stop to talk to the person in front of us at the grocery store, let alone offer to help. We avert our eyes, browse our email on our cell phones or even continue talking on our phones when we should be interacting with the people around us.

When I speak of a spiritual connection, I don't mean religion. There are just as many church-going, religious people who are wandering aimlessly. And as my mind has begun to wander, I'll end this with Frost.

1. The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;
        5

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,
        10

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.
        15

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.
        20

*Now playing: Blowin' In the Wind by Bob Dylan - The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Illusion

Illusion

Sometimes, it feels like what is real is an illusion and the illusion is real. Things can become so confusing and muddled. I'm waking up slowly with my head full of confusing thoughts and sinus pressure. And now I've lost my train of thought so all you're going to get is an image that lets you decide which is real and which is illusion.

*Now playing: Fall Into Me by Sugarland - Love On The Inside

Friday, September 12, 2008

How High

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How high could you fly if you weren't tethered? What tethers you? Is it fear of failure? Fear of success? Just fear? Me, it may sound weird to you, but I have always feared success even more than failure. Yes, I fear not being accepted but it's more if I were to become successful, what would hold me here in my comfort zone. Comfort zones aren't necessarily good, just what we know and often feel we deserve. How high would you fly?

Off to mail a care package.

*Now playing: Anything I'm Not by Lenka - Lenka

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Rock

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Rocks do offer a connection to something more solid but a rock, by its very nature, is transient. It rolls along allowing the environment to shape it. Rocks learn to roll with it.

Maybe that is the lesson in holding onto a rock, learning to roll with it and not anchoring ourselves one way or the other. Emotions, good or bad, will always be changing. What one feels right this minute can be gone in the next. Clinging to old ideas, hurts and pains drags us down much like that rock, tumbling down gathering moss and other debris gets caught up and tossed aside, progress stopped.

Even so, those rocks that have come to a resting spot do offer shelter and support for those critters who seek. It's knowing when the rock is offering us a safe harbor or holding us back from a journey we all must take.

A rock can be solid, anchoring us to the moment or teaching us to roll with it. Breathe in, breathe out, move on. It should come as no surprise that I collect rocks of all shapes and sizes. Well, mostly stones as they are small enough to carry. I collect them for many reasons. One, to feel connected to the place I've been but mostly, it's a connection to all that has gone before and all that will come. The rock will continue to roll long after I am gone.

I could go on and on about rocks. Sometimes, a rock isn't even a rock. It could be a person, place or thing that offers you strength. I've written this as a rough draft ($hitty rough draft at that). This entire entry was inspired by Eileen of A Life Of Triggers and the beginning was in response to her entry on clinging to rocks.

Two more rocks. One could be an asteroid, hurtling through space but still rolling onward and the other shows the ravages of time and perhaps even a fossil or two.IMG_2000copy

*note: The photos are not what I had envisioned and I edited on my notebook so your mileage may vary.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Rainbows

Cave of the Winds 

Rainbows can be seen at all times of the day at Cave of the Winds. I'm sitting here on Saturday morning. I remember when Saturday's were quiet around here. Now, the sound of traffic fills the air almost 24/7 and on a Saturday morning, airplanes overhead. I wonder what happened to the sleepy little town I moved to eight years ago? The house, inside is quiet. No music fills the air or shouts of mom, where's this or that. Life as a part-time empty nester is taking some adjustment. I know mostly, it's me but after years and years of a husband who showed no interest in doing anything with us (me), I can't pretend that now he does. When he asks if I want to do anything, my reply will always be no.

Whatever you do this weekend, hope it's a good one. I may do some virtual window shopping. Thinking about an Olympus Stylus camera. One of those weatherproof, shock proof point & shoots. After my trip to the falls and with winter approaching, thinking it might be nice to have.

*Now playing: Someone to Save You by OneRepublic - Dreaming Out Loud (Bonus Track Version) - decided to fill the air with some music of my own. ;) Still too noisy outside, though.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

On Soul and Remembering

Nevermore

Our descent down the Trail Ridge Parkway required frequent stops to rest the brakes and the nerves. Although the road is paved and truly two lanes, at times the drop is quite deep and the turns and incline a bit frightening. At one stop, I get out of the car and notice this Raven dancing and singing a song to attract what I do not know. It did attract the attention of photographers, though. One such carrying a huge Canon, on a tripod, with a super long, white lens. As she was setting up her rig, I pulled out my SX-70 and framed the above image. The scan doesn't really do the Polaroid justice but it goes with the story. I did have my Canon with a small zoom lens, snapped a photo of the scene with it but it seems to lack the same feeling that this one imparts to me. I know why this one imparts a soul to me as I was there, experiencing the mountains, breathing in the air, experiencing the moment as it unfolded. I am sure my fellow photographer's image captured the Raven in intimate detail and should I see the final result of her photo, I am sure I would ooo and aaaahhh it.

My question for those reading today, does a photo have soul? Does it matter if the image was taken digitally or with film? What makes one photo stand out and impart a feeling? My thoughts on the subject tend to lean toward the viewer. A photo is just that, a photo. The viewer brings their own feelings and emotions to the image giving it that soul so often mentioned. The image starts with the view the photographer chooses to share. For whatever reason, the scene spoke to the photographer. It continues with the developing of the image and the final viewer which includes both the photographer viewing the image and those he/she shares said image.

I had more thoughts on this subject but silly me, didn't jot down my pearls of wisdom when they came to me and thus, they have fled the brain. I can't even begin to tell you the amount of wit and wisdom that could have been shared with the world through the years if only I could remember or at least write down those thoughts at the moment they occur. At least with photos, I take the snapshot immediately. I must learn to do the same with my thoughts. A mental snapshot will never work for me. My brain will always flit onto the next distraction/obsession and the thoughts will be lost. Even now, it's flitting onto my next cup of coffee and the list of things I need to accomplish this morning. Even as I contemplate that list, iTunes and a gift card are distracting me further.

Speaking of music. *Now playing: Lookin' For A Good Time by Lady Antebellum - Advance The radio edit of this song changes one word and the meaning of the song is a bit lost. Country radio can be so fickle. Home with me and a dance just don't share the same uncomplicated/complicated implications.

Friday, August 08, 2008

On Photos

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Yesterday's photo, looking so peaceful, is an illusion. The rock you are seeing is the rock I saw as I was traveling through the cut with at least one car in front, stopped taking photos and another coming up behind us.

Why do we take those photos and study them so intently when each photo is but a snippet of an entirely bigger picture? Photos show only what a photographer wishes you to see and yet as that photographer, why is it that I still study the images so intently? I know that each image is but a fragment of the whole. I know the camera sees things differently than the human eye. I know that the choice of shutter speed and aperture can change the image and yet I still study the photo, looking for something. Is it a truth about myself? Is it a higher truth?

Even those photos of loved ones, we study the eyes and the mouth, looking for something. Some snippet of the real person. Every once in awhile, a photographer is able to capture an essence, the soul of a person or place. Perhaps that is what we are all searching out. Our soul and an affirmation of a higher Being.

Enough rambling. I've much to do with little time remaining.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Memory

Lilac

I just finished reading The Year of Fog by Michelle Richmond (thanks for the recommendation, Beth). Without giving away the story, the book has made me really look at memories and why we remember what we do. And as the main character is a photographer, lots of references to the reason we snap those shutters. I have often thought on that subject. Why do I take photos of the everyday, mundane moments of my life? What of my childhood have I forgotten and why do I cling to the memories that I do?

Obviously, this book has left an impression upon me. And as my horoscope references conversation and not taking it too far, I will end this entry now.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Life's Milestone Moments

Pentaceratops:

Recently, a friend wrote about dropping her children off at a day camp and one that truly didn't want to go. He cried, he ran back to her but eventually, he stayed and had a wonderful time. Mom, on the other hand, sat with phone in hand and tears in the eyes. It seems from an early age, we work on preparing our children to take those independent steps. We have tears in our eyes as they wobble out the door to preschool, kindergarten and even high school. We do this with the assurance that at the end of the day, they will be home.

Now, I am on the cusp of another of those moments. College. Not just a few hours away, but in another state. It's a giant leap. We'll go from hanging out to text messages and seeing each other 4 times a year. The Holidays and summer. When I drop her off at the door, I know in my heart, this is the beginning of her true independence. She'll be living in a dorm, studying for a career that will take her far and keep her on the move. Our relationship will take on a new level, changing. But not so much that I won't sit, with phone in hand, tears on the face and worry. That's one thing that never changes. No matter where in the world she ends up, I will be her Mother and with that comes the worry that all is well in her life.

This becomes my first true milestone moment when I go from being SAHM to housewife or lazy slob with nothing better to do. A life filled with even more uncertainty for myself. What will I do? That I do not know. But this I do know, my daughter will be okay with whatever life throws her way.

The photo taken at the Sam Noble Oklahoma Museum of Natural History. And I feel about as old as these bones about now.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

What Have You Done?

The preface to a book I started to read. What have you done to further your goal, in this case writing a story? Googling how to books and buying a book on writing won't advance my story. Putting off the process until next week, next month, next year won't advance the story. Reminding myself that everybody thinks they can write and who do I think I am anyway is just another defense mechanism. Pearls of wisdom do come from unusual places. The book, walking in circles before lying down, Merrill Markoe. The story of a woman who will eventually be able to hear dogs talking. I've not read too far into it yet, but it has hooked me.

What I have learned, it is best to write what you know. I may have to scratch the opening scene. What do I know about a group of lifelong friends and women friends at that? Only what I've read. We shall see where my mind wanders.

I've also learned that playing with the Tornado globe won't help either. It'll pass some time but not advance my story.

Tornado

Found at the airport in Oklahoma City. A disclosure as I feel a bit guilty at playing with a tornado, one of natures most destructive forces. I have the utmost respect for tornadoes and the people who have suffered and lost property or loved ones to their destructive forces.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Rite of Passage

Rite of Passage

Tassel swinging from a rear-view mirror on a warm, summer's day. Green and gold glittering in the bright light taking me back to my own tassel, also green and gold with an 82 in the center. Different place and time but still, the rite of passage remains the same. Our children graduating, facing a brave new world. A world with the same challenges we faced and yet, new. The cost of college tuition has increased at rates that far exceed cost of living. The amount of students applying for entry often far exceeds available slots.

The graduating class, so full of hope and expectations for their future. A future that is a blank page, waiting to be filled. A fresh start, leaving high school behind. A reminder to our children, that we will always be their mothers, fathers and they will always be our children. And as such, we will always be there for them, to help when asked. Never be afraid to ask for help and to ask before you sink too deeply into trouble.

The next rite of passage for me will be saying good-bye when I leave my child at a school in another state. A state that is hours away by plane and even further by car. A rite that will have me wanting to break down but wanting to be excited for the life she is about to begin. A new rite for me, empty nest, at least for part of the year. Where will our passages lead us? Life never has any guarantees and passages have a way of intertwining, creating new opportunities when least expected. One must be aware of the clues presented to be able to take advantage of those opportunities, keeping not only eyes and ears open, but the heart for when following your heart, your passage will somehow take you to where you are supposed to be.

Oh, and when you go off to school, no parties--no drinking, no drugs, no sex... and rock & roll. Okay, you can have your music but none of the other stuff. :)

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Heaven Help Me

Patriot Guard

Song lyrics that made me do a double-take when I heard it play on XM Radio today.

I have wounded those who love me
And refused to take the blame
I have hidden all my demons
But I cannot hide my shame
I've forgotten who I am
But I know you know me well
Heaven help me
Heaven help me
'Cause I can't help myself — Gretchen Wilson

The song was so softly sung that I doubted my ears. Is this really The Red-Necked Woman? But soon, I found myself sinking deep into the lyrics and went in search of the song. It's on a CD we don't have but I may buy it soon or at least this song.

It mirrors so much of what I find myself going through lately and came as a gentle reminder. It is a topic I will most likely return when words make their way to my fingertips.

The above image stirred my emotions as I witnessed the Patriot Guard out in full force. All those motorcycles, engines roaring, flags waving and horns honking. I feel pretty sure this particular parade was a happy welcome home for some lucky soldier and his/her family. It was such a powerful moment, though. A moment of thanks to those who place themselves in harms way that the world be a better place. I was waiting in a left-turn lane and only had my trusty Polaroid SX-70 with me.

*Now Playing: Heaven Help Me by Gretchen Wilson - One of the Boys

Friday, May 09, 2008

Doubts

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The links I shared yesterday were a result of an email I was sent. I was suspicious of the last statements and went in search of the original. The original and many more from the author can be a real eye-opener.

"You might not be able to shake the inner tension today and it can be quite annoying. You want to make a point, but wonder if you will be able to stand up for your beliefs. Actually you are more tenacious than usual and won't give up without a fight. Although your inner voice is telling you let it go, think again before going silent. You may be better off if you take a chance and say what you feel."~Rick Levine Horoscope.

When writing yesterday's short post, I had doubts about leaving it in place. I even disabled commenting. Then, I saw my horoscope for yesterday and it mirrored my doubts. I have left it stand.  I have many doubts when it comes to writing. I doubt if anybody reads it. I doubt if they do read it, will they come back or hold it against me, that I believe in something different.

It is always easier to make a joke, babble about the inane than to take a stand. And you know what, that goes for those running for office. Take a stand. Stop the rhetoric and political pandering. And if your stand is one that faces opposition (what stand doesn't), learn to live with the consequences. And remember this, flippant remarks hurt when you speak them, just as they hurt you when spoken by others.

I will leave comments open this time.