Recently, a friend wrote about dropping her children off at a day camp and one that truly didn't want to go. He cried, he ran back to her but eventually, he stayed and had a wonderful time. Mom, on the other hand, sat with phone in hand and tears in the eyes. It seems from an early age, we work on preparing our children to take those independent steps. We have tears in our eyes as they wobble out the door to preschool, kindergarten and even high school. We do this with the assurance that at the end of the day, they will be home.
Now, I am on the cusp of another of those moments. College. Not just a few hours away, but in another state. It's a giant leap. We'll go from hanging out to text messages and seeing each other 4 times a year. The Holidays and summer. When I drop her off at the door, I know in my heart, this is the beginning of her true independence. She'll be living in a dorm, studying for a career that will take her far and keep her on the move. Our relationship will take on a new level, changing. But not so much that I won't sit, with phone in hand, tears on the face and worry. That's one thing that never changes. No matter where in the world she ends up, I will be her Mother and with that comes the worry that all is well in her life.
This becomes my first true milestone moment when I go from being SAHM to housewife or lazy slob with nothing better to do. A life filled with even more uncertainty for myself. What will I do? That I do not know. But this I do know, my daughter will be okay with whatever life throws her way.
The photo taken at the Sam Noble Oklahoma Museum of Natural History. And I feel about as old as these bones about now.