*Now Playing: Farewell to the Old Me by Dar Williams, John Medeski & Stefan Lessard - The Beauty of the Rain
My winter days are filled with music, coffee and introspection. If I were to take a photo a day, I could take a photo much like this one as almost each day, I have an espresso beverage made at home, with beans that I've ground myself.
Last night, I watched 20/20's show on Happiness and the one thing that had truth and hit home was finding what makes you happy and doing it. It doesn't have to make you money, just bring about happiness. It's often called flow. One of the things missing in my life lately has been flow. Flow that I found with a camera and spending hours outdoors, just looking at this wondrous planet we all share. In private conversations I have often referred to photography as my therapy and the resulting images words. These images are not necessarily what I set out to take, they just happen. There is one thing I noticed, though, that my time spent with a camera made the husband angry or maybe that would be jealous. Those emotions would rub off on me and my time with the camera began to feel heavy. Especially when we're all together. One would think a happy me made for a happier home which should have made for a happier him. Not resentment. Resentment for the time I found in recent years, forgetting all those years when not a free moment existed in my day, even to the bathroom was not free. All you moms out there know what I'm talking about.
*Now Playing: The World's Not Falling Apart by Dar Williams, Michael Kang & Stefan Lessard - The Beauty of the Rain
But guess what, and this song just started playing...... The world is not falling apart because of me. It's not falling apart because I may not have cleaned a bathroom today or yesterday or even all week. Those things do get done, my house is rarely dirty (mostly cluttered though--I like my stuff). I will enjoy my days more. Even if a happier me doesn't rub off onto my husband, at least I will be happier.
*Now Playing: The One Who Knows by Dar Williams & Alison Krauss - The Beauty of the Rain
Third song started playing since I began this entry. This song is all about motherhood. Words that strike a chord within me lately.
Before the mountains call to you,
before you leave this home,
Wanna teach your heart to trust
As I will teach my own.
But sometimes I will ask the moon
Where it shined upon you last
And shake my head and laugh and say
It all went by so fast.
You'll fly away, but take my hand until that day.
So when they ask how far love goes
When my job's done you'll be the one who knows.
Motherhood, the greatest journey with so much responsibility. Even though one cannot blame a mother forever as eventually you have to take responsibility for your own actions, the journey can be made more difficult.
And now that I've wandered all over the place with this entry, I must end it. It's almost lunchtime and I'm not showered. The husband went into work but should be home soon. Have a great weekend and have a little time to enjoy your favorite beverage. :)
BTW, the Zen of Zin still sits, unopened. I just loved the name of that wine and have yet to permit its opening.