Sunday, June 08, 2008

More, Maybe

As I try and go back into my memories, I realize that my childhood seems to be gone. I remember generalities and few good things but there is an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and despair.

My name is Joe. Just Joe. I was named for the black liquid my mother so loved. My birth compared to the thick, sludge at the bottom of a pot of diner coffee, left too long. I was late. The labor long and hard but when placed in my mother's arms, the warmth spread just like the adrenaline rush that caffeine creates as it spreads through the body. I wish I could remember those feelings. Life has a way of changing people and my mother was no exception.

Life as a girl with a boy's name wasn't always easy. I've always been a bit of loner and an observer. I'm not the type of person that walks into a room, briefly looks around and can remember each detail of the wallpaper, sofa patterns and lampshades. I tend to see the people beyond the superficial smiles plastered on their faces so the public never knows of their inner turmoil. I also dream. Sometimes, I dream so intensely and feel the pain of another as if it is happening to me. I've struggled with understanding my dreams and why they happen and have learned to accept that maybe I'm just there to witness the end of life, even in all its pain and misery. Offer a bit of comfort to the dying.

*creative writing.

A newly created category. When you see this tag, realize you are reading unedited writing. Writing that I literally composed at the keyboard and hit publish with little thought as to the fluidity or even grammar of the words. I'm just experimenting with stretching my mind and exploring characters and worlds both known and unknown. I'm not hoping to write a novel and will most likely grow bored with this little project.


Shirley said...

Well, I hope you don't (get bored). With all sincerity...I am enjoying reading these! I read them with the comfort of curling up by the fireside in an overstuffed chintz chair. Your mind has such a beautiful flow.

Photobonnie said...

Thanks shirley. I don't think anybody has ever said that about my mind... it works in strange ways and might need an espresso to cure some constipation. ;)

Beth said...

oh honey, you can stretch your mind as often as you want to, cuz you have a beautiful way with words...which really shouldn't surprise me. Your photos are beautiful too.

Eileen said...

I hope you keep writing. I found it to be compelling and did not want the story to end. So glad you pushed publish and did not delete.


Cindi said...

keep going