I am feeling better despite a strange start to the year. Bitter cold followed by record highs and that brought about snow and ice melt. And a rare January tornado a few towns over and north.
It's January and I've got that sinking feeling.
Sort of perched on a slippery edge.
The holidays are over with all the outer trappings packed away for another year. If only it were so easy to pack away the emotional aspects. But wait, packing away the emotional stuff is why it never goes away. Maybe it's time for me to deal with issues I thought were dealt with but keep creeping up into my daily life. Issues that make me ashamed at times and make me sad at other times. Maybe it's time for me to look outside of myself for help in dealing with these issues. Maybe these issues are deeper and maybe I am more like my mother than I ever thought possible. And why does it always go back to Mothers. It's not really her fault. I know, deep down, she's always just done the best that she could, even now.
I wonder, if someday in the future, my own daughter will be delving deep into her own issues because of me? And I'm afraid of that answer.