Monday, January 07, 2008

I Really Have Meant to Blog

I am feeling better despite a strange start to the year. Bitter cold followed by record highs and that brought about snow and ice melt. And a rare January tornado a few towns over and north.

It's January and I've got that sinking feeling.

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Sort of perched on a slippery edge.

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The holidays are over with all the outer trappings packed away for another year. If only it were so easy to pack away the emotional aspects. But wait, packing away the emotional stuff is why it never goes away. Maybe it's time for me to deal with issues I thought were dealt with but keep creeping up into my daily life. Issues that make me ashamed at times and make me sad at other times. Maybe it's time for me to look outside of myself for help in dealing with these issues. Maybe these issues are deeper and maybe I am more like my mother than I ever thought possible. And why does it always go back to Mothers. It's not really her fault. I know, deep down, she's always just done the best that she could, even now.

I wonder, if someday in the future, my own daughter will be delving deep into her own issues because of me? And I'm afraid of that answer.

4 comments:

Beth said...

oooh, that's a tough one. As a mother, you always hope to do better than your mother did, and not send your kids to therapy!

But I think having an "outside" person to talk to can only help...give another perspective at least. Couldn't hurt.

What power mother's hold, huh?

love the pix

Cindi said...

yup. i so believe in objective opinions, one who will hold up a mirror to my face, even when i don't want to see what is there. especially when i don't want to see what's there.
and as a friend once told me when i proudly bounced up to him and said, "I graduated!" he said, "honey, no one ever graduates; you're just on leave." and he said it with love.
and he was right.
sending you all good wishes and hugs and hope for a happy, happy, happy '08.

Eileen said...

This is such a difficult area, for so many of us. I have learned that it is a process, a long process, that has many stops and starts. I do think when the issues, that are suppose to be resolved, pop back up, it is good to talk to an outside person. Sometimes this makes you feel worse before it gets better, but I am told, it is the only way to get to true healing.

I try so hard to feel compassion and forgiveness. Some days, it is just so much harder. Like a said, a process.

As for myself, my girls better not have to got into therapy, because I am the most perfect mother on earth....just kidding. Mothers do have so much power.

Good post. Love your pictures. You need to publish them!!!
XOXOX

Photobonnie said...

Thanks guys.